


Following the Footsteps

by Tookbaggins



Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fic, Sequel, another okd, reposted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:54:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 5,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23620396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tookbaggins/pseuds/Tookbaggins
Summary: Merry's life took a tragic turn when his wife, Lily, died. Can Pippin and Estella bring him back to his old self? Sequal to "My Merry"Originally posted to ffdotnet July 2002
Relationships: Merry Brandybuck & Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 1





	1. Shutting Them Out

**Author's Note:**

> I know these older fics are terrible but it’s nice to have them here because I can look at them and realize how far I’ve come

N I felt unsatisfied after ending my fic "My Merry" and after close consultation with my Frodo and Sam action figures that talk to me and encouragement from Lady Baggins of the shire, Talking Hawk, and Melilot Milestone (I think it was them) I've decided to write the sequel. It's the story of Merry, his grief and its results between him and Pippin, and Estella. I appreciate everyone who liked my last fic, I couldn't have finished with out you all and I hope you like this one too!

—-

"7 Forelithe. I don't know how long I'll be able to go on with this. Lily meant the world to me. It's been over a month since she's been gone and Pippin and the others have been trying to cheer me up. But it's no use. I'm losing weight, I'm always pale, and often I feel weak…very weak. I fear I'm fading away from my friends, but I can't think to do anything about it. It shouldn't be like this. Lily and I should still be together, raising our family, spending our lives together like we'd hoped…"

Merry sighed as he put down his quill and closed the small book he had been writing in. Pippin and Lily had given it to him just a few months earlier for his birthday. He smiled slightly as he remembered those happier times.

"Uh, what's this?" he looked at the book, blank inside, that is cousin and soon-to-be wife had proudly presented to him.

"We thought it might come in handy." Lily had explained.

"Besides you never know, you might want to plan our schemes someday." Pippin hadn't been able to go more than half an hour with a smart remark or joke back then.

Merry laughed as he held it close. "I doubt that'll ever happen, but thanks all the same."

"Merry?" he snapped out of his nostalgic mood to see Sam standing next to him. "Dinner's ready. Are you going to eat?" Pippin stuck his head through the door worriedly, Frodo right behind him.

"No, Sam. I'm not really hungry." And it was true. His appetite had been greatly altered since Lily's death.

"Well, alright then. But if you change your mind there's plenty." He returned to the kitchen with Frodo, but Pippin lingered for a moment.

"Merry, you can't keep doing this to yourself." Merry sunk further into his chair in response. "Merry, please…"

"Go away."

Pippin hesitated before putting his arm around Merry's neck as best he could. "I really worry about you. You know that?" once again Merry didn't answer. With a soft sigh on his cousin's behalf, Pippin returned to his supper.

—-

A/N wow, that was short. More to come as soon as possible. Last day of school's the 6th, so I'll have a lot more time. Once again, please review and flames are also welcome. Why? To quote Padme Amidala from episode 2: "sometimes our mentors see more than we want them to. But then again…it's the only way we grow."


	2. Overheard

"8 Forelithe. I think he was telling the truth. About worrying about me that is. Used to be he was so cheerful. Even when I was upset he'd get me laughing somehow. But now…he seems so melancholy, I see pain in his eyes when he looks at me. Whether its pain from missing Lily, or pain from me I don't know…"

Merry looked up as he heard voices in the garden. He knew immediately who it was.

"Please cheer up, Pippin. You haven't smiled in weeks!"

"I'm sorry, Diamond. It's just that…" Merry detected a hint of tears in his voice. "That I'm worried about Merry. He's been awful lately. He hardly ever eats, the only time he'll talk is when he tells us he's skipping another meal, and he hardly ever leaves home anymore,"

"I know, I know. Some one's got to talk to him…and that some one is you." Merry leaned closer to the window. Pippin sniffed probably close to tears.

"B-but Diamond…he won't listen to me." There was a thoughtful pause.

"Tell him how much you care. Maybe he will listen this time."

"Alright, I'll try. We should be going, I've got to pick up some things for dinner." Merry remained where he was until the footsteps faded away before picking up his quill again.

"I don't see why he bothers about me. I wish everyone would just leave me alone."


	3. Talking to Pippin

Merry came out of his doze as Pippin entered the room. The fire light seemed to make his dark eyes glow eerily.

"Merry? I hope you don't mind, but…can we talk?" Merry gestured to the chair next to him and Pippin took it gladly. "Listen, Merry. I know you probably don't want to hear this…but I'm still worried about you." their gaze met for a moment and Merry saw once again the pain in his cousin's eyes, but he also saw a glimmer of hope. It was very faint, but it was there nonetheless. Merry looked down, trying to hide his feelings of loneliness.

"I know you are, Pippin. It's just that…well, I…"

"Miss Lily." Merry glanced at him, unsurprised. Pippin noticed. "We all do, Merry."

"no…you don't know how I feel!" Merry suddenly burst out, not really understanding this strange anger, nor why it was directed at Pippin.

"Merry…"

"No! don't say it, don't say you understand! You don't." Merry's voice rose as he stood from his chair. Pippin jumped up, trying to calm him down.

"Merry, please!"

"I've had it with all of you! Can't you see that I just want to be left alone?" he did it before he realized it. Before he had a chance to stop himself. His fist stung as it met Pippin's face. Pippin gave a startled cry as he jumped back.

"Oh my God…" Merry stared in horror at Pippin's already bruising eye. "Pip…" Pippin backed away as Merry came forward, his expression one of great hurt and disappointment. "Pippin, I-I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to…" Pippin turned his back, but stopped before he left.

"I know, Merry. I'll be back, just calm down for me, okay?"

—-

A/N oh, the violence! I feel so dirty…Merry! Pippin! I feels so bad for doing this to them!


	4. Understanding

"I can't believe I did that. Especially to Pippin! He was only trying to help, after all. I don't know what came over me, but I couldn't control it. I hope he'll forgive me someday…"

"Pippin! What happened?" Diamond squeaked as Pippin approached the hole that she ws staying in.

"I talked to Merry."

"You mean…" Pippin nodded.

"I don't really think he meant to though. He seemed very upset by it."

"It looks awful!" Diamond fussed as she fetched a cold cloth. "It's swollen and everything!"

"Nothing to worry about." Pippin dodged her playfully. She put her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow.

"Peregrin Took!"

"Sorry." He stayed dtill while she tended to his swollen eye.

"What did he say?"

"He said that…that we didn't understand. And he just wanted to be left alone." Diamond sighed as she pulled away from him. "I wish I could help you, Pippin."

"I know. I'm going to stop him, Diamond. Whether he likes it or not."

—-

"9 Forlithe. I don't know what caused me to do that. And I really wish I hadn't. Pippin looked like I'd stabbed him in the heart, but he's back again like nothing happened! I wonder, has he forgiven me or does he just not want to talk about it?" I'd better stop writing, he's trying to get me to eat again…"

Merry shook his head stubbornly as Pippin pushed the plate towards him.

"Eat."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

Pippin leaned forward and gave a yank to Merry's sleeve. "Look how loose this is! That's pathetic!" Merry yanked the cloth from Pippin's hand. "Please…leave me alone."

Pippin sighed, slightly frustrated. "Merry, can I tell you something about Lily?" Merry put his head down on the table, not answering. Pippin continued. "Before…before you were married, she used to talk to me when whenever you weren't around. We talked about you." Merry glanced up at him. "What we liked about you…all sorts of things. She wanted you to marry her. But she didn't think you would. She thought you would leave her eventually, like almost everyone she'd known. She didn't want that, Merry. She was so happy when you finally got around to asking her."

"Really?"

"Would I lie about something like that? But she also told me something else, mainly because we didn't know what to talk about (I think, maybe not). She said, 'Our time here is limited. Even some Elves die, because everybody has a time. But it's short, very short. It's not something we should take for granted.' That's exactly what you're doing, Merry. You're taking it for granted. You not gonna be here much longer if you keep on like this."

"Pippin…"

"I'm not exagerating, Merry!" Pippin fought to hold back the tears that threatened him. "If you want to be a fool and kill yourself go ahead! You're going about it the right way!" the tears broke lose as he left for the garden, Merry headed to the sitting room. Unfortunately Frodo was already there, and he had overheard.

"Merry, he loves you. Do you know how much you've hurt him?"

"Yes. I-I didn't mean for things to get like this, it just kind of did,"

"He's been affected by this just as badly as you have." Frodo muttered before returning to his book.

"I've made a decision. I can't bear to hurt Pippin any more. I'm going to go back to the ways things were before…well, before Lily died. Yes that means eating, going outside, everything. I can never put into words what I've put him through. I can only say this: I'd rather fight a thousand orcs on my own and end up dead than do something like that to him again."


	5. A Not-So-Chance Meeting

"Um…Merry?" he looked up Pippin stuck his head into the kitchen. He didn't point out the fact that Merry was actually eating for a change, nor did he seem to notice that he was looking better than he had for days. "There's someone at the door for you."

Merry looked towards the hall, a bit surprised. "Who?"

"I don't know. Perhaps they're new around here." Pippin shrugged. Merry reluctantly pushed his plate away and headed to meet the stranger.

"Can I help you?" he smiled politely as he stepped outside. A young lass (looking near his age) stood before him, appearing very nervous. Her grey eyes and dark hair seemed familiar, as if Merry had seen them somewhere before.

"Are…you Merry Brandybuck?"

"I am."

"My name is Estella. I recently came here from Sarn Ford. Could you help me with something?"

"I suppose so."

Estella blushed slightly as she looked up at the rather tall hobbit. "Um…which way to, uh…market?" Merry couldn't help but laugh. "That's terribly rude of you!" she scowled indignantly.

"Forgive me. It's been a long time since I've…never mind." He thought for a moment. "Follow that road for about another mile, but don't turn off. You'll come to it eventually."

"Thank you, Mr. Brandybuck."

"Merry."

"Merry. Good bye." She started to turn away.

"Wait!" she looked back at him. "How did you know my name?" She blushed again.

"Oh, well I kind of asked around. I heard about what happened. I'm sorry. I know a little of what you must feel, I think. My parents died not long ago."

"I'm sorry, Estella." She smiled sadly at him.

"Sometimes…I wish I could have done something to save them. That's all right. These things can't be helped, it was just their time."

"Their time…" she continued down the road silently, Merry gazing after her.

***

"Well, I talked to him, Pie." Estella sighed as she reached the pony waiting for her out of sight. "I just hope I can again. Poor guy…" Pie nudged her, as if he understood, and she smiled before heading to her new home.

***

Merry wandered through Bag End, feeling slightly guilty. He had liked Estella, he wasn't sure why it was just something about her. His thoughts flitted between his beloved Lily and Estella, an understanding stranger that had appeared so suddenly…

"Well?" Pippin looked up curiously as Merry passed his chair.

"Well what?"

"What did she want?"

"To know how to get to market."

"And?"

"What?"

Pippin threw his hands into the air jokingly. "Good Heavens! Her name! What was her name?"

"Estella. She was very polite, not your type."

"I'm taken." Pippin laughed as Merry headed away towards his room.

***

What should I do Lily? I know you wouldn't want me to be miserable the rest of my life, but I still love you and I'll never stop. I feel so guilty thinking about someone else. Merry sniffed as he spun the silver lily slowly between his fingers. One of his favorite memories of Lily was the look in her eyes as he had given it to her, but now…

"Oh, Lily, what should I do? I don't want to forget you." He buried his face in his pillow as tears came (as they often did). He stayed for a moment and he had an odd feeling of comfort. As if he had been answered…You'll never forget, love. Don't take life for granted, I'm still here. And I always will be.


	6. Following His Feelings

Merry shivered as he stepped into the clod sunlight. It was nearing winter.

"Where are you going?" Pippin asked with a grin.

"I don't know, just walking I guess."

"Well, just don't be too long. We'd prefer it if you ate with the rest of us." Merry rolled his eyes as he set off down the lane. As he walked, he went over the past few weeks in his mind. What had he been thinking? If he hadn't started eating when he did, he probably would've been joining Lily by now.

Lily…he smiled wistfully as he thought of her. He missed her terribly, but the pain of not having her was different now. No longer did he burst into heartbroken tears when he thought of her, but smiled lovingly.

Merry came out of his thoughts when he realized where he was…the lane where he had met Lily. He wandered along it silently, eventually settling himself beneath an old tree.

"Hello!" Merry jumped as he saw a face emerge from around the trunk.

"Estella!" she grinned happily.

"You remembered!"

"Why wouldn't I? What are you doing here?"

"Writing a letter. What are you doing here, Mr. Brandybuck?"

He turned away from her. "Thinking."

"Oh…may I ask what about?"

"Just things…the past few weeks…Lily…"

Estella stiffened, "Who?"

"My wife." She relaxed silently. Both sat for a moment without speaking. Should I? What would Lily think? I wonder if she would be happy about it…Merry remembered the strange comfort he had felt the day before. He had privately decided that it was Lily. He took a shaky breathe before looking back to Estella.

"E-estella?"

"Yes?"

"I hope you don't mind my asking, but…would you like to drop by for dinner sometime?" Please. He thought. Lily, help me out here…

Estella leaned closer to him, smiling "of course I will."


	7. An Odd Date

"I can't help but feel that I shouldn't be doing this to Lily. But I think that she'd want me to. It would be just like her, trying to get me cheerful at her own expense. She was so unselfish, I still wish she were here…"

Merry paced the hall nervously. Pippin watched, glad to see this drastic change that had occurred in his older cousin, but he was a bit confused.

"What's wrong, Merry? It's just dinner and you're acting like Strider's gonna show up with a bunch of important people or something!" he raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Pippin…there's something I haven't told you."

"That's not new…not recently anyway." Merry scowled at him.

"Do you remember that girl who came to the door a few days ago?"

"I think. Estella, wasn't it?"

"Yes." Merry blushed sheepishly; "She's…um…sort of coming to dinner tonight."

"You're kidding?" Pippin grinned at him, obviously pleased.

"No, I'm not." Merry didn't quite like the mischievous look Pippin was giving him.

"Well, that's wonderful! Do Frodo and Sam know?"

"No, not yet." They both glanced towards the kitchen. They were going to need a lot of food.

"I'll get the fixings." Pippin sighed, his eyes bright.

***

"I can't believe you didn't tell us!" Frodo grinned after having heard of Estella's visit.

"Oh, Merry, I'm so glad!" Rosie beamed at him, however Sam frowned.

"I still don't know who she is…" As if on cue, there came a soft knock from the door. The others fell silent as Merry went to greet her. He returned moments later with Estella gripping his arm and looking as nervous as Merry. Introductions were swift, since they were all starving. The gathered round and sat at the large table that had been prepared, staring hungrily at the mushroom soup, rolls, and various other things before them. It was a few moments before any one actually spoke.

"So…" Merry glanced at Estella, who seemed afraid to even look at the others. Pippin broke the silence.

"ooh…I think Merry's blushing…" he said quietly to Frodo. He wasn't…until Pippin mentioned it.

"Pippin, leave him alone."

"Shut up, Sam."

"Don't you dare-" he was cut off as a buttered roll hit him in the eye.

"Pippin!" Merry would have insulted him, but instead he received a handful of potatoes in the ear. "Oh that's it!" he launched his plate at the young Took, who retaliated with a handful of butter, which headed straight for Estella. Merry tried to block it, but it hit her anyway. She sat aghast for a moment…then launched her own plate. The group continued mercilessly for nearly a half-hour…eventually they all slouched, heads on the table.

"I'm hungry…" Pippin moaned.

"Shut up."

Sam and Rosie frowned, even though they were covered in food. "We're not cleaning this on our own…"

Estella looked up to the window. "Oh no! Look how dark it is! I need to go!" She stood and bowed slightly to the others. "I'm so sorry, thank you for letting me come. It was…different." She headed for the door. Merry jumped up and went out after her.

Pippin grinned evilly, "That ended exactly according to plan…heh heh heh. " he noticed the others staring at him. "What?"

***

Merry and Estella walked the dark street, laughing over their evening. "You have delightful friends, Merry."

"You'd be surprised." She stopped next to a rather small hole with a sigh. "This is it."

"Estella?" she looked up at him hopefully. "I'm glad you came tonight."

"Me too. It's nice to be around people for a change. It reminds me so much of my family." Merry cocked his head at her questioningly. "They all stayed in Sarn Ford. Didn't want to leave."

"Oh…my family's in Buckland. I'm just visiting."

Estella looked worried, "For how long?"

"I don't know. Until I decide to go back, I guess."

She chuckled, "Well, we have something else in common then!" they fell into a silence.

"I-I'd better be going." Merry muttered, somewhat regretfully.

"Wait!" before he could react, Estella threw her arms around his neck and kissed him lightly. "Good night Merry Brandybuck." She started for the door.

"Estella!" she turned back to him, blushing slightly. "Can I see you tomorrow?" she smiled, though it was hardly visible.

"Of course. Why wouldn't you?"


	8. Elanor

"I can't believe how much my life has changed since I decided to live. I'm getting married, Pippin most likely is too (Diamond wants to think first), and Sam's nearly a father…literally. Rosie's with the mid-wife right now. I hope everything goes well, Sam's already a wreck."

Merry, Pippin, and Frodo sat with Sam in the living room of Bag End. Diamond and Estella were in the bedroom helping with Rosie.

"Sam?" Frodo squeaked (Sam was gripping his arm. Very hard by the way Frodo gritted his teeth).

"What?" Sam squeaked back.

"Not so tight! Please!" they had been waiting for hours already. Sam had been clutching Frodo rigidly the whole time. After what seemed like days a faint wail reach their ears.

"Ohmygosh!" Sam blurted before passing out. Unfortunately he fell on Frodo. Frodo tried wriggling out of the way, he had finally got the blood back in his arm, but he didn't want to be crushed now. They all looked up as Diamond and Estella entered with a small bundle of cloth.

"Rosie said she's gonna kill Sam!" Diamond giggled. They spotted Sam on the floor.

"I think he's already dead…" Estella frowned as she presented the small bundle to them. Another wail issued from it and roused Sam.

"Elanor!" he burst into joyous tears before returning with the baby to the bedroom. Everyone stood for a moment, overjoyed by the new addition to their group. Diamond turned to Pippin.

"Can we talk? Outside?"

"Of course." With a glance at Merry, the two of them left. Estella wrapped her arms around Merry's torso.

"Do you think we'll have one someday too?" she smiled at him, her eyes sparkling.

"Wouldn't dream of skipping it." He leaned in to kiss her, but Pippin practically crashed through the door, interrupting them.

"Merry! Merry!" he paused for a moment, then went on (ignoring the fact that Merry and Estella were holding each other, making it obvious that they were interrupted). "Merry! Estella! I-we're getting married!"

"Pippin! That's wonderful, when?"

"I don't know, I just found out. But it'll be soon!"


	9. Untraditional Suggestion

"26 Forelithe. Time seems to have gone by so quickly. Sam's going to be a father soon and I'm still staying in Hobbiton so that I can be with Estella. I think it's all gone by so fast because I'm happy again…well, not as happy as I was, but very close. When I'm with Estella, I feel like I'm with Lily again. I know it probably sounds weird, but it's true. There was a special feeling that I never got with anyone else, and that's what I get with Estella.

Speaking of Estella, she and Diamond seem to be becoming close friends, that's great since they'll have to deal with both me and Pippin. Unfortunately we haven't seen Willow much lately, I hear she's moved to Michel Delving or someplace like that. Frodo's taking it well, though he's much more quiet and withdrawn than he used to be…"

Merry snapped his book shut as he noticed Pippin was peeking over his shoulder. "You nosy git!"

"Well then…" Pippin put a hand on his hip in a poor impersonation of Diamond. "You keep invading people's privacy and you'll get throttled one of these days!"

"She's right." Pippin slumped down into the seat next to Merry.

"I know…but being nosy and irritating is what I do!" his smile suddenly turned serious. "Merry, I need some advice. Do you mind?"

"Of course not, Pip. What is it?"

"Well…" he blushed badly. "I really like Diamond. You know, in THAT way." Merry nodded understandingly, "Do you think that if I…uh…asked that she would be happy?" Merry thought for a moment.

"Honestly, I don't see why she wouldn't be." He smiled kindly at his younger cousin. "Actually, I've been thinking about those kind of things a lot this week."

"You mean…Estella?"

"Yep." Pippin was about to respond when Estella suddenly burst through the front door.

"Merry! Can we talk?" Pippin nearly dashed outside, thinking it could be one of "those" talks. "I'm gonna find Diamond! Bye!" he disappeared as Estella settled herself in his vacant chair, looking extremely nervous.

"Estella? Is something wrong?" Merry didn't like the worry he saw in her eyes, especially since he couldn't think of a cause.

"Merry, I know this will probably be kind of awkward when I say it, but I can't wait on you to do it any longer and I'm really scared that you'll be mad or something so please don't be. Can we get married?" all of this came out in a split-second.

"Estella, are you speaking Elvish?"

She took a deep breath to calm herself. "Merry…can we get married?" he stared at her. She stared at him, obviously thinking that he wasn't all too happy about it. "Oh no…" She nearly bolted, but Merry grabbed her by the waist with a laugh. "I think I'll take that as a yes!"


	10. The Big Day

"What's wrong? There's no need to be so nervous." Diamond smiled as she fussed with Estella's hair. She and Merry were finally getting married.

"Should I have done it, Diamond?"

"Done what?" Estella frowned into her mirror.

"Asked Merry. What if…you know…"

"Estella! He loves you just as you are! Don't even think things like that." Estella was about to reply when Pervinca Took stuck her head through the door.

"Everything's ready!"

********

"Cheer up, Merry. You are getting married, after all." Pippin whispered as he, Sam, and Merry stood next to the Impressive Clergyman.

"I'm overjoyed to be doing this, but I feel a little sad. And…I keep thinking about Lily." Pippin peered at his friend, who kept his eyes to the floor as if guilty.

"I wish I could say something to make you feel better."

"Forget it, Pip." They fell silent as Estella made her way up to them. Since she had no parents, she had asked Frodo (being much older than her) to give her away.

"Never thought I'd see something as that." Sam muttered to Pippin. "Mr. Frodo doing that an all."

"Sam, we're not supposed to talk!"

"I know, but-" he was silence by Pippin's elbow in his side. Frodo and Merry exchanged places silently; the Impressive Clergyman paused dramatically before speaking.

"…Mawwiage." Merry couldn't keep from grinning. "Mawwiage is wot bwings us togetha today." Pippin snickered, and ended up getting elbowed painfully by Sam. The Clergyman noticed and skipped ahead. "Mewwy, do you have the wing?" Merry did his best not to laugh as he presented it in his palm. "Wet's make this showt. Mewiadoc Bwandybock, do you?"

"I do."

"Estewwa Bowgew (Bolger, in case you were wondering), do you?"

"I do."

"Awwighty then, I now pwonounce you man…er, hobbit and wife."

Merry slipped his arms around Estella's waist, planning to kiss her. But that was before…

"WHOO! GO MERRY! OW! STOP IT SAM!" Sam had apparently kicked Pippin. Merry rolled his eyes before he kissed Estella lightly.

************

"I really wish we could stay, Merry. But we've got to be going, long ride home." Pervinca and her siblings, the last of the guests, exchanged a last hug with Merry, Pippin, and Estella before finally leaving. The three collapsed in the sitting room.

"Glad that's over." Pippin sighed.

"You? You didn't have to stay, you know." Merry laughed as he sat with his arms around Estella.

"I wanted to keep an eye on you two until everyone had left."

"Oh, honestly!"

"It's true, Estella." Pippin stared at the fire, ignoring the annoyed looks from Merry. "Say, who's hungry?"


	11. Never Looking Back

". away." Merry rolled over and blinked at his wife. She seemed to be dreaming, or maybe it was more of a chased by sausages and a little syrup filled woman who ties you to a refrigerator. Happens to everyone. "Estella?" Merry put his arms around her and held her close to him, content except for the fact that the sun was still people were passing the kind of prevented experiencing loud pleasure. Estella snuggled up to him without waking. Suddenly Pippin burst through the door. "Merry!" Pippin ignored the fact that Merry (who was scowling) and Estella (who had jerked awake and wriggled under the covers) were seeming to feel a bit awkward. "What is it, Pip?" Merry hissed through clenched teeth. "I just talked to Gandalf! It's about Frodo!" "Frodo!? What is it, is he all right?" "H-he's going to the Havens! I think he may be leaving!" "Why?" "I dunno, but Gandalf and Bilbo are going too." Estella poked her head into view. "Then you haven't a moment to lose if you're going to see him!" Pippin left in search of two ponies (using their own didn't really occur to him) while Merry and Estella threw on their clothes (see? See? I'm being discretely naughty!). Estella grabbed Merry's arm before he left. "I hope you find him, Merry." Then, with a kiss she urged him out. *********** Sam stood silent next to his master and Mr. Bilbo. Cirdan and Gandalf were moving about, making ready to leave; a few of the Elves chattered in their own tongue quietly, but most stood in silence. Everything seemed strange to Sam, almost like a dream. He hoped that it was a dream, though his heart knew better. Too soon Gandalf turned to them. "Frodo, Bilbo, it is time." "Sam," Frodo turned to him, tears in his eyes. "Thank everything." There was a moment in which both of them wept silently, but a movement on the path behind them interrupted them. "You gave us the slip once before, my dear friend, but this time it won't be so easy." Merry laughed as he and Pippin dismounted (Pippin had eventually remembered that Merry owned plenty of ponies). Frodo gaped in bewilderment, looking quite comical. "H-how.?" "Gandalf told me so that we could, um.s-say goodbye." Pippin muttered hoarsely. Gandalf cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, but they wish us to hurry. Samwise, Meriadoc, long." He paused before turning away. "I didn't tell because, I didn't think that I could bear to say goodbye.I'm so sorry." "We know, Frodo." They stood for a moment, not willing to end their time together, yet knowing that it must be done. Frodo embraced them each in turn. He lost control when he heard Sam's sniffs. "Please, Sam! Don't!" he managed to say as he hugged his dear friend goodbye. "It's just you're my best friend. I'll miss you so much." "I know, Sam. I'll miss you too." Frodo felled silent as Bilbo turned to the three. "Take care now, especially of that little one, Sam. And any others that may come." He smiled light-heartedly and headed for the ship. Frodo hesitated and burst into tears. After many muffled "I love you"s he regained his composure and also turned towards the sea. Never looking back.


	12. Frodo

"Frodo"

"We stood there, just the three of us, until he disappeared over the horizon. Strangely though, I don't feel sad. I miss Frodo, yes, but for once he'll actually get to be truly happy. He'll get to be with Bilbo and Gandalf, which he would enjoy since he loves them both. Sometimes I since I was a lad I've heard stories of across the sea. Some people think it's heaven, others that it's just more land like here. If it is like Heaven, would Lily be there? I like to think so, that she's still out there somehow. If she is, I'll find her one day. I love Estella with all my heart, but I love Lily also and if she's out there I won't let her be alone. It doesn't matter if it's here or somewhere across the Sea."


	13. Several Years Later

"It's been so long since I've written and so much has should I begin? Well, first off Elanor has really grown (not to mention the others, there's a total of seven I reckon). I wouldn't be surprised if a few more show up as well. "Pippin and Diamond finally got around to getting married (but even those two were bored! The priest/preacher guy was extremely boring. I hear the one from my wedding moved to the Southfarthing, can't imagine why.). And believe it or not, Pippin's a father! They had a son (about Marigold Gamgee's age) named Faramir! Hopefully he'll be a troublemaker! "As for Estella and luck yet. Well, except for one incident-" Merry's hands shook slightly and the painful memories came back to him. ********************************************** "What is it? What's wrong!?" Diamond had looked up at Merry with tear- stained cheeks. " Merry, I'm so sorry. First Lily and now this-" he hadn't let her finish. He'd thought of Lily as he made for the bedroom, fear for Estella flooding through him. What if he lost her too? "Mr. Brandybuck-!" he pushed past the mid-wife, ignoring her and going straight to Estella. He had taken her into his arms fearfully, but she just wept into his shirt, unharmed. "Merry! They couldn't do anything about her." Estella clutched him as the sobs shook her small body. Merry held her tighter and looked to the mid-wife, a new fear flowing through him. "Still couldn't be helped." She sighed as she handed the child to Estella. "Estella, I-" Merry's voice failed him, he stroked the child's pale cheek as Estella cradle her in her arms, still weeping. Finally, Merry turned to the mid-wife. "H-how did this happen?" "The way that she was positioned in the was strangled by the umbilical cord." Merry and Estella sat with their daughter for what seemed like an eternity, but they had to make a decision. And they did. Esmerelda Brandybuck joined Lily Ithildin that week on that hill over looking their lives. ********************************************** Merry drew his sleeve across his eyes, pushing away the pain. Picking up his quill, he began to write again" "I miss them both, Lily and Esmerelda, but I can't bring them back. I miss Frodo too.I hope he remembers us. They say Over-Heaven lies over the that be true or no, I hope I make it there one day, then I can see Frodo even Lily and Esmerelda."


	14. Across the Sea

"Wish we had a market nearby." Frodo Baggins frowned as he bent over some mushrooms. It was his turn to cook that night, and Bilbo had talked Gandalf into settling for mushrooms were a bit scarce that time of the year. He had nearly filled his bag when he heard a familiar voice behind him. "My it isn't Master Baggins come to see us!" he whirled around to see a shower of dark blonde curls and bright eyes sparkling at him. "L-l-" he began to stutter in his shock. "Frodo! Surely you remember ore of my name than that?" "Lily? As in Lily Brandybuck!?" "Yep!" she giggled as he gaped at her. "By the way, there's someone I think you should meet." a mass of sandy curls popped out from behind Lily's skirt. A girl who looked about four years old smiled up at him. Frodo glanced at Lily. "S-she looks just like Merry!" "Of course! She's his daughter." "Huh? Why is she here?" "Still born, poor thing. You know that we only grow to a certain age here, right?" "Yeah, I know.I've already stopped." He knelt by the girl. "What's your name, love?" "No, it's Esmewelda Bwandybuck, not Wuv!" Frodo and Lily both laughed. Lily became solemn and turned back to Frodo. " ? Did Merry get married?" ".Yes. He did, Lily." "Oh. To whom?" "Estella Bolger." "Well that's good. At least he's happy. Oh, and Frodo? When you came Merry remember me?" Frodo was taken aback. How could Merry forget her? "Of course! He loves you still, just as much as he ever did." Lily brightened immediately. "I'm glad he does."


End file.
